Last Thursday, I was lucky enough to be one of the 300 that attended the Damascus College Liturgy and Father’s Day Breakfast. I want to acknowledge the work that several Damascus staff put in to run this event. It was wonderful to see the many Dads, Grandfathers and significant males that were able to share some time with the young people in their life.

I am a father to 3 adult boys and, despite their age, continue to navigate the complexities of being a father. I write recognising that over the last 28 years as a Dad I have made some blinders, got things wrong and at times have not been as patient as I could have been. Nevertheless, I have a great relationship with my boys and could not be prouder of watching their journey unfold in front of me. While I declare I am no expert when it comes to fatherhood, I have taken the opportunity to reflect on the advice that professionals have provided me that appear to have worked!

Be present in the lives of the young people that you support. This isn’t as simple as turning up and watching your child play sport, attending a parent teacher interview or celebrating a birthday. Being present is about being totally engaged in the moment and observing the growth and gratitude of what it means to shape one’s life. It is about acknowledging that at this moment nothing is more important than what you are observing. You are not only physically present, but emotionally connected.

Practice emotional authenticity by acknowledging your full range of emotions – no matter what society says is ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’. It’s okay for men to be competitive and it’s okay for men to cry. Expressing (not denying) our feelings is the key to emotional authenticity. Furthermore, being open, compassionate, and accountable doesn’t just help us learn and evolve – it helps us break free from societal pressures and stereotypes so we can be role models for young males as well.

Teach the power of holistic care. Research shows men who regularly check in, ask for help, meditate, eat well, exercise, read books and care for their skin – in other words, men who practice holistic self-care – spend 44% more time caring for others and share household chores more equally.

Being a good listener without judgement allows young people to feel legitimised in their thoughts and opinions. Learn how not to interrupt, allowing yourself to walk in the feet of your child by developing an empathetic understanding of where they are at. Then allow some time to reflect rather than have a reflex reaction.

I wish all Dads, Grandparents, and significant males all the best as they support the young people around them. “You’ve got this.”